Day 1: Love
- Feb 1, 2018
- 2 min read
Convenient Love
I don't wanna be a convenient love
The kind of love you let in just because time allows.
The kind you use only as a distraction from your reality.
I really don't wanna be a convenient love
The kind of love you use to plug interest into your boredom … and you tell yourself "it's okay, I mean well"
The kind you "would choose, but…"
I'm really fearing being a convenient love
Criticized for hesitance,
My all was demanded but weighed to be nothing..
I tested my ability to stay afloat within your waters
& dared myself to jump.
but I have to remember to love lightly
because infatuation is the deepest emotion you currently understand
and that's a tough pill to swallow.
This has become my religion,
holding onto faith in your "good intentions" to keep from drowning.
My convenient love has hid itself within the folds of my own self-discovery..
A genuine love tagged not far behind,
I was using hearts as kindling for the fires that kept me warm at night.
I thought we'd reached balance.
Bartering unfamiliar sentiments for experiences I'd never known to enjoy..
We traded a vision in an infinite moment in time.
I thought we'd reached balance.
Now, a convenient love, maybe I'm punishing myself?
I mean,
I didn't even finish this piece that day -- because you called.
You're your rawest self when we're together..
Inconveniently more than you expected..
A convenient love that invaded seconds, minutes, hours, days it was never allotted.
You chose to love inconsistently,
dancing circles around ideas..until you stumbled into continuity.
I see I was a pleasantly distressing love.
I felt strength by the absence of surprise
when you wanted a new love.. Or maybe just not mine.
That hesitance I held not-so-tightly came to my rescue,
and I was even able to keep my heart light that very same day.
I guess choosing "nothing" made you want it "all",
but you needn't fear being my convenient love…
because, to you, my love is not currently an offer.
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